Human beings are remarkably resilient. For all the tales of
Last week, SkyMall, the magazine found in airplane seat back pockets everywhere, declared bankruptcy. Apparently now that passengers can keep their phones and computers on during flights, often with wifi available, passengers aren’t turning to the ridiculous magazine for entertainment (or purchases). As we say goodbye to this aircraft institution, let’s look at some of the silliest, most pointless, sometimes dangerous SkyMall products.
1. Orbit Wheels –
2. Solowheel – Are your Orbit Wheels starting to bore you? Is a regular segway just not geeky enough? Do you have $1800 burning a hole in your pocket? The Solowheel is for you.
3. Super Skate Sail – When both of the above methods of transportation are just too practical.
4. The Human Slingshot – For the person who just does not value life at all.
5. Hands-Free Wine Holder – Perfect for every elegant standing room only dinner party.
6. The Brobdingnagian Sports Chair – At 5’8″ high, this chair serves the dual purpose of making you look ridiculous and enraging every person sitting behind you at outdoor events.
7. The iPad Bean Bag Stand – This product isn’t a terrible idea. If you happen to have a spare bean bag or hacky sack lying around, it could make a great stand in a pinch. But why would you pay $49.99 for this?
8. Private iPhone case – What could you possibly be looking at on your phone that is so private, and requires such frequent public viewing, that it could justify not just buying this product, but regularly carrying it around with you.
9. Clip-On Bangs – No one will ever know.
10. The Single Handed Barber – Sure, why not pass fast-moving circular razors over the back of your own scalp, unseen and one-handed?
11. Justin Bieber Mint Floss – This is the actual product copy from the Skymall website: “Justin Bieber Dental Floss is a must for keeping your Bieber Smile looking great. Contains 55 yards of waxed mint flavored dental floss, styled after the sensational young star, Justin Bieber.”
12. Groundhog Day Celebratory Hat – Guaranteed to make absolutely sure none of your friends or loved ones will want to be near you on Groundhog Day. Ironically, they come in packs of 4.
13. The iGrow – The iGrow uses lasers and, um… science to grow out long, luxurious hair. Best of all, it comes with built-in headphones so you don’t have to listen to the inevitable taunts.
14. A Plastic Dog Toilet Water Bowl – When you want your dog to be utterly confused about which toilet is okay to drink from, and which gets him yelled at.
15. The Upright Sleeper – Now you can fall asleep anywhere, anytime. Totally casual, no one will even notice.
16. NFL Wine Shoe Holder – Because how can women enjoy football if there are no fancy shoes involved, right?
17. Any of these horrible shirts